Mad Lib: Stay in Touch With Friends
Hello,
It's been a while, quite a while, about
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Number Seconds Minutes Days Months Years Centuries Zabnarks Lifetimes Unit of Time if memory serves me properly, since we last spoke.
I just wanted to write to catch up. Let me tell you what I've been up to. Besides dabbling in
The Dark Arts Amateur Taxidermy Finger Painting Inciting Rebellion Freestyle Nudity Blogging about my Cat Hating Foreign Films Racial Epithets Narcolepsy Hate-Mongering Gay Marriage Satanism Hobby .
I've also been participating in
High-Speed Competitive Full-Contact Experimental Olympic-Level Norwegian Epic Passive-Aggressive Group Interactive Internet Solo Mega Underwater Meditative Crowdsourced Flashmob Type of Activity Kitten Lightning Tornado Porn Knife Friend Lumberjack Hackey-Sack Frisbee Dune-Buggy Blanket Pet Accounting Relationship Solitaire Chess Balloon Cheese Object Parties Surgery Rebellion Eating Watching Punching Abuse Juggling Hating Insertion Removal Imitation Cooking Camping Snobbery Activity - which as you can imagine leaves me with a few
Broken Bones Skinned Knees Missing Limbs Bruises Missing Children Angry Neighbors Calls from the President Felony Convictions Blackout Mornings Death Threats Lost Jobs Changed Religions Dead Houseplants New Wives Mental Conditions Epiphanies Flashbacks Withdrawals Consequence .
Anyway, how is the Wife Husband Boyfriend Girlfriend Cat Dog Ghost Parents Students Cult Members Potted Plant Stamp Collection Spirit Animal Imaginary Friend Significant Other ?
Is/are He She It They He/She/It/They still as Sexy Dead Numerous Smelly Odd Scary Senile Fat Agoraphobic Allergic Terrified Stupid Fun Extreme State of Beingas I remember?
Well I've got to get back to this project at work. My boss is really
Riding Degrading Fucking Ignoring Shitting on Spying on Fisting Stalking Gouging Blackmailing Raping Hating Crank Calling Sexually Harassing Degrading Act me about it.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and feel free to write back, if we don't take the time for friends and the occaisional letter or email well then I think we'd all just be a bunch of
Wiggers Mollusks Tea-Guzzlers Frenchmen Douches Strangers Meth Addicts Assholes Bastards Freaks Sickos Jerkoffs Motherfuckers Feminists Retards Twats Wankers Tosspots Tools Insulting Term !
Affectionately Disdainfully Apathetically Somewhat Pornographically Physically Spiritually Emotionally Theoretically Infinitely Painfully Sincerely Magically Type of Farewell yours,
PS: Remember I have an
Birthday Funeral AIDS Rally Marathon Intervention Science Fair Witch-Burning BBQ Jello Wrestling Party Crippling Anxiety Attack Bahmitzvah Pity Party Event coming up and I'd love you to attend!
(( Courtesy of Fuhnny.com ))