The Bag of Dicks is Half Full?

Adam: SUCK A BAG OF DICKS

Kyle: well

Kyle: ill suck on the bag

Kyle: but not the dicks themselves

Adam: okay but it's leaking

Adam: it's a paper bag

Kyle: so, youre telling me

Adam: and overly full

Adam: it wasn't well thought out

Kyle: that this paper bag

Kyle: what is it leaking?A

dam: all I'm saying is that you're not getting off light here, by choosing just the bag

Adam: it doesn't matter

Adam: you've agreed

Kyle: no it does

Kyle: and i will simply suck the top of the paper bag

Adam: This is a bag, that contains dicks, the state of the bag or the dicks was not in question

Adam: we have an agreement sir

Adam: honestly the top isn't a whole lot better

Adam: these have been in my car for weeks

Adam: This won't end well for you

Kyle: well, the leaking of said dicks would have occurred down and towards the bottom of the back

Kyle: if it was full enough to make the top wetKyle: the bag would have tipped over

Kyle: so one side of the bag would be relativley dry

Adam: I can see where your glimmer of hope comes from, but these have been sliding all around and quite frankly decomposing for some time, there no safe area of the bag

Adam: you won't enjoy this

Adam: regardless of your positional pandering

Kyle: im just saying, unless you took your pos sedan off roading, it wouldnt have bounced around enough to actually defial the sid eof the back facing up

Adam: ok, I'll just say it

Adam: the bag is wet

Kyle: and road driving would not have knocked all of the dicks out

Adam: mighty wet

Kyle: so

Adam: and it's filled to capacity

Adam: this is going to be tragicKyle: they would have weighted down the bag enough to not get one side wet

Kyle: i think, based upon my perfectly logical reasoning above

Adam: I admire your positive outlook

Kyle : that you, sir, are a liar

Adam: however, this is bound to be something that will be a terrible experience for you

Kyle: not to mention the fact that

Kyle: if the bag was as wet as you say

Kyle: it would have fallen apart due to the weight of the dicks inside

Kyle: and, therefore, would no longer be a bag of dicks

Adam: it's barely a bag of dicks

Kyle: see, now youre changing your story

Adam: I think the act of simply trying to hold it will be your downfall

Adam: It's numerous dicks in a container, of sorts, let's stop debating semantics

Adam: look I'll just go get it and let you handle it any way you want

Kyle: but the sematics are the crux of the argumentA

dam: you can even throw them away when you're done

Kyle: based upon your previous statments, there is no way a paper container of any kind could have stood up to the abuse you are implying it was taking

Adam: You're making it the crux, the crux of MY argument is that your mouth will contact this package that I will soon deliver to you at high speed

Adam: it's a sturdy butcher paper bag

Kyle: even sturdy butcher paper degrades overtime

Adam: but they're not indestructible

Adam: have you ever purchased a lot of pork at once?

Kyle: and weeks of decomposing dicks

Kyle: oh yes

Adam: the bag will be intact enough for you to at least begin the journey of suckage on which you've agreed to undertake

Adam: the fellowship of kyle and his back suckage will at the very least leave rivendell

Adam: but I doubt you'll get to mordor if I can continue the the metaphor

Kyle: the bag will fall apart during its initial transit to be presented to me, which is basicaly saying, using your previous analogy, that the bag wont make it out of the lonely mountain

Kyle: err metaphor

Adam: I will use all delicacy to make sure what remains of the bag will be intact enough for you to begin your no-doubt dangerous journey into bag-end-suckage

Adam: Bag-end being both a hobbit joke and physical reference to the part of the bag in question

Kyle : i still reject your suposition that the bag will be intact enough to still be considered a bag and, therefore, would not be a bag of dicks, which voids our inital argreement

Adam: We will find out sir! To the CAR!

Adam: (the end)

Kyle: this has gotten entirely too silly